


Tweet It

by oflittleuse



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Reality, Episode: s06e15 The French Mistake, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Content, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-12
Updated: 2011-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-27 06:34:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/292687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oflittleuse/pseuds/oflittleuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With only 160 characters – sometimes the message gets lost in translation. Sometimes it results in a Sam Winchester, recently thrown into another dimension, thinking that his alternate-reality-fake-ego Jared Padalecki is in a romantic relationship with his co-star Misha Collins. And if he and Dean are supposed to pass for these actors, they will need to play their parts, even if that means pretending to be the boyfriend of some guy who looks a lot like a certain angel. Meanwhile, Misha is wondering what the hell is up with Jared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tweet It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sassy_minibang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassy_minibang/gifts).



 

Sam Winchester had seen a lot of weird shit. Not only had he been a hunter since he was a kid, which required seeing things that normal people would go their whole lives without seeing, such as vampires, werewolves, demons and ghosts. Even for a hunter he and his brother had seen things which most people wouldn’t believe in a million years. He’d been to Heaven and Hell, been stuck in TV-land and survived the apocalypse.

He had never thought that he would ever end up in a dimension where his and his brother’s lives were a television show and everyone thought that they were the actors who portrayed the brothers in the little cult show that had miraculously made it into a sixth season. The entire situation was odd, but only turned odder when one of the assistants dragged Jared away for an interview. It was impossible not to sound like a complete idiot, how was he supposed to know what was going to happen in his future? It was his future and, now that he was demon-blood-free for one year and counting, he was visionless. And how was he supposed to comment on a show that he knew nothing about?

As he finally escaped, being sure to file away the new information he had gathered from the interviewer, the small assistant with a mop of curly hair ran up to him.

“Jared, here’s your phone back. Just make sure you turn it off or Bob will really not give it back,” she smiled shyly, passing Sam a cell that he had never seen before.

“Thanks,” Sam muttered, pocketing the phone. With relief he could see his brother stalking across set towards him, excusing himself he made to join her. The cell phone lay forgotten in the pocket of Jared’s outer jacket.  


 **+**

  
Misha Collins could not believe it.

Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles - or J2 as the fans called them - had not only played a prank on him, but they had played one on him … together. Maybe, finally, hopefully, after six years of solid resigned politeness and prima dona behaviour the boys were finally getting their heads out of their collective asses. Sure, the joke was a bit lame. Really, pretending to be Sam and Dean? It was not even close to the time Jared had posted a picture of Misha in drag around the set and had then called him princess for the next few weeks. How Jared had gotten that picture, Misha figured one of the crew who followed him on twitter must have sent it to him.

In hindsight posting a picture of himself in drag on twitter was probably not the smartest move. But a fan had asked for one, and he could never turn down a request as strange and bizarre as that. His friends kept trying to warn him that he was addicted to the social media website, and he fully agreed with them. Which is why, as Jared and Jensen walked away, Misha could not help but pull out his phone and send out a quick text to let the world know of this new development on set.  


+  
 **@mishacollins: Ola Mishamigos! J2 got me good. Really starting to feel like one of the guys**  
+

  
"What the hell is up with the names around here?" Dean lamented, as they stormed away from the fake Castiel. Sam just nodded along, trying to get his brain wrapped around what was happening to them.

Why would an angel want to send them to this alternate reality? Why give them the key in the first place?

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he flipped it open _. Ola Mishamigos_? Wait, this wasn't Sam's phone … this was Jared's phone. And Jared had just received a text from Twitter from … _Mishacollins_? Misha? The guy they had thought was Castiel? There was mention of _J2_ … Jared and Jensen? That made sense. It must be a sort of nickname for Sam and Dean's actors. Putting away the cell phone, Sam glanced back at the fake-Castiel. He felt his stomach clench as he saw that the other man was still standing where they had left him but the intense blue gaze, which felt wrong belonging to someone other than Cas, was watching as they walked away.

For the first time, Sam started to wonder what sort of relationships these alter-egos of theirs might have.  


+

Misha sat at the picnic table missing Little Guy #2, as he liked to think of him. The P.A. was new to the crew and had taken to following Misha around on set. The guy was nice and fun to talk to, kind of like a puppy. Misha liked puppies.

Little Guy #2 was MIA, checking something on set, which meant Misha was sitting by himself at the far picnic bench. He supposed he could have gone back to his trailer, but the drizzly Vancouver day had finally opened up to blue skies and Misha knew it was too rare an opportunity to waste inside.

Pulling out his phone he quickly typed a 160 character message to his followers.  He could always rely on them to cheer him up. It was only after the message was sent out to his Mishamigos when he saw the most unbelievable, horrifying sight ever. Jared and Jensen had just walked over to the food table ... together. They seemed to be ... hanging out?  


÷  
 **@MishaCollins Missing my usual lunch date. So lonely.** **:(**  
÷

  
Jared’s phone buzzed in Sam’s pocket. Curiosity getting the better of him, Sam looked to see who the message was from. It might hold some clue about his mysterious alter-ego. _Missing my usual lunch date. So lonely._

Lunch date? As Dean piled food a mile high on his pate, Sam scanned the crowd. Sure enough Misha was sitting by himself ... staring at Sam. Glancing away he tried not to jump to any conclusions. But between the tweet and the staring, Sam couldn’t help but wonder if there was more between Misha and Jared. It would figure that his alter-ego was a gay actor. Dean would never let him live it down.

“Jensen!” a voice called out, causing both brothers to jump. Right, Jensen was Dean. Sharing a slightly alarmed look, they turned to face the crew member who was running up to them, waving his clipboard. “Jensen! You’re agent just called, said it was super important that you took it. She’s on line one, do you want to take it in the office or your trailer?”

“Um .... trailer?” Dean said, sending panicked looks at Sam silently pleading for help. There was nothing he could do though. The small crew member, PA is Sam remembered correctly, was already dragging Dean away chatting a mile a minute.

Sam was left standing by the food buffet table, holding his plate filled with salad. Glancing around he figured he should try not to bring attention to himself. If he, Jared Padalecki, normally ate with Misha – and the guy was still staring at him oddly – then he should join the co-star. He had just started to make up his mind when the phone in his pocket buzzed again.  


÷

Misha couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful, bright rainbow right behind the sasquatch-figure known as Jared Padalecki. The rainbow was so large and colourful that Misha felt the need to tweet it. Smiling he started to type.  


÷  
 **@MishaCollins You Mishamigos should be jealous – beautiful view at lunch. ;)**  
÷

Sam felt his heart miss a beat. Misha was still staring at him with a happy, dazed smile when Sam glanced up from his phone. Oh god – they were a couple. Sam hoped that Jared wasn’t the type for PDA’s, because Sam could not handle that right now. Trying to calm his frayed nerves he walked over to Misha’s table.

“Hey,” Sam said, cursing himself inwardly. He hardly sounded like a boyfriend. Quickly sitting down across from Misha, he shovelled as much leafy greens into his mouth as he could handle to save himself from further conversation.

“Hey,” Misha replied, eyeing Sam warily. Sam wondered what he did wrong. What other possible greetings could Jared normally say? Hello Darling? Looking good?  Hey sexy?

“So, um ... you and Jensen, huh?” Misha finally asked, sending small glances toward Sam as he kept mixing the granola into his yogurt.

“Jensen?”

Right, Jensen was Dean’s alter-ego in this place. Even though Sam had grown up with aliases and cover stories, it threw him off that this time the cover story was already made and the names weren’t some classic rock band. It was hard to remember. Who named their kid Jensen anyways? Then it made sense. Misha was probably jealous, especially after Sam had stormed off with Dean earlier that day when they had learned he wasn’t Castiel.

“Right,” Sam said, trying to cover up his confusion. “That was nothing, just going over some ... acting ... stuff.”

“Right, like being in character before,” Misha smiled. It was a disarming smile. He looked nothing like Castiel when he did that. It was brilliant and goofy and made Sam want to smile back at him. He hadn’t seen anyone smile so openly, so freely, in years. “It’s just that you two don’t normally, you know, talk.”

“What?” Sam asked, trying to break free from the daze induced by Misha’s smile.

“You and Jensen, it’s weird to see you two talking.” Misha shrugged and continued eating.

“Oh,” Sam glanced around at the crew members. That would explain the odd glances he and Dean had been getting. “Right, we were just ... in character. Um, why do we not talk again? D-Jensen and I?”

Misha looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Not sure, happened before I joined.”

“Right,” Sam laughed, trying to cover up his awkwardness. “Because you joined when we met Castiel. We being, you know, the characters. Sam and Dean met Castiel.”

Misha’s knee bumped against Sam’s under the table causing a jolt deep in his gut. Trying to ignore the automatic reaction to move his knee away, Sam took a deep breath. If he was going to do the whole boyfriend thing – he might as well do the job right.  


÷

Misha went to move his knee away. He wasn’t sure what was happening with Jared, but he liked the change. While before Jared had been a nice guy to look at, he had been a bit of an ass. This new Jared was a surprise. The change, whatever it was, made him much more likeable, even attractive. Equally surprising besides this new personality was when Jared rubbed, _rubbed_ , his knee gently across Misha’s and slipped his leg so it rested oh-so casually against his. He tried to ignore the jolt of desire which was unexpected. He had never found Padalecki desirable. Misha had long ago gotten over working with attractive men, but this was different. It was like an entirely, new person was sitting across from him and his body was screaming ‘just jump him’.

Jensen choose that moment to interrupt.

“Sam,” he said, before sliding an unreadable glance at Misha. “I mean ... Jared. I ... we need to talk.”

“Right,” Jared said, sending –what Misha hoped- a regretful expression.

As the two of them walked away, it was not Misha’s fault that he took the opportunity to check out Jared’s fine ass. This was bad. Nothing could happen, Jared was married, and he was normally a jerk. Misha had no idea what had gotten into him today but, he couldn’t help but hope the change was permanent.  


÷

Jared’s phone buzzed and as Sam checked it, he couldn’t help but smile.  


÷  
 **@MishaCollins IMHO today’s lunch was the most pleasurable meal ever.**  
÷

   
Dean did not know what Sam’s problem was. He kept fidgeting with Jared Padasomething’s phone. It wouldn’t have bothered Dean if the little jewelled J.P. didn’t keep glinting up at him. Between Sam annoying him with his phone fidgeting, the fake-car, the PA’s and a show that chronicled the messed up lives of him and his brother – Dean felt a very nasty headache developing behind his eyes.

“Stop it,” Dean hissed, leaning back on the bench in his fake-trailer.

“What?” Sam asked, still flipping the cellphone and checking its screen. 

“Have a hot call coming in?” Dean quipped, getting some perverse pleasure when Sam dropped the phone onto the small table between them.

“No,” he replied, defiantly. Sam folded his arms and leaned back away from the phone. Smiling in triumph, Dean closed his eyes and tried to will away his headache.

Not even three minutes later and the sound of rustling across from him could only mean one thing. Peeking one eye open proved it, Sam was back at it.

“Seriously, is some fan sending nude pictures or something?” Dean asked, trying to figure out what could have his brother so wound up.

Sam apparently didn’t hear him; he was too busy reading something on Jared’s phone.

“Huh, did you know that in the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator?” Sam asked.  
   
“My god you’re a freak,” Dean groaned, getting up to find some damn Advil. There was no stopping Sam when he got like that.  


+

Misha had just finished talking to Little Guy #3, his least favourite of the little guys. Maybe Misha was just biased, since he knew for a fact that #3 was not a Mishamigo, and worse – he had no twitter. Anyone who did not have twitter was insane, as far as Misha could tell. A perfect example of that being Jared and Jensen. Neither of them had twitter or followed Misha and they had apparently gone insane today.

Little Guy #3 was telling him that the crew was sure that Jared and Jensen must have had some sort of head trauma from their window stunt. Misha was loath to admit that it made some sense, but unlike the rest of the crew, he couldn’t help but think it was maybe for the better. Jensen was still a stand-offish prick, but Jared had been nice at lunch.

Misha tried not to think of the bumping knees and rubbing legs, after all Jared hadn’t meant anything by it. The guy was straight. It was Misha’s problem if he was suddenly dealing with a brand new attraction to a man he had otherwise been indifferent to. Jared could be a jerk, but he wasn’t a mean spirited person. Misha just needed to keep his head down, maybe get laid, and forget the whole Jared-dilemma.

Of course as soon as he thought that he saw the humongous frame of the actor in question. Jared seemed to be wandering aimlessly around set. If Misha didn’t know that the man practically lived on the set for six years now, then he would have thought it was his first time. He was taking in everything with a curious gaze akin to a sightseer.

Misha would just duck away and hide out in his trailer. He would not deal with his growing crush.

“Hey Jared,” Misha chirped, cursing his mouth and waving arm for not following his mind’s game plan.

“Hey,” Jared replied awkwardly, giving a stunted half-wave in return.

“What are you doing?” Misha asked. “Got lost?”

“What? No, I’m just ... walking,” Jared said, obviously lying.

“Right.”

Misha let it slide. Jared was probably about to go off and set up one of his infamous pranks. Not wanting to get caught up in the middle of anything, Misha made to leave.

“Um, actually,” Jared called after him. Misha could not understand what the difference was in the way he was now looking him. “I might be a bit ... misplaced.”

“Misplaced?” Misha laughed. “How hard did you guys hit your head?”

“Um, never mind,” Jared blushed.  He actually looked sheepish standing with his head bowed so that the hair curtained most of his expression. Misha did not know what had come over him as he watched Jared start to turn away. He couldn’t stop from reaching out and stopping him. Physical touching was definitely not what his minor, fledging infatuation needed.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, what are you looking for?” Misha asked.

“Dean, I mean, Jensen, we were waiting to be picked up to be driven home, and I just thought I would check out the set, but I think I got turned around,” Jared said sheepishly, at least having the grace to look embarrassed. Misha started to wonder if this was more drug than injury related weirdness. How could Jared Padalecki get turned around on the sound stage of the show he was one of the stars of ... for six years?

“Just ... follow me,” Misha offered, giving his best “I don’t think you’re crazy but yeah you are” smile. It was the one he usually retained for his brother. “So I guess you and Jensen are back to not talking?”

“We’re ... trying to work it out actually,” Jared said awkwardly. Misha didn’t blame him. It would be awkward trying to put to rest a six year feud. He was dying to ask what had brought on the dramatic change. “So, you’ll probably see us talking a lot more, if that’s okay with you?”

“Of course that’s okay,” Misha reassured him. Why Jared would care what Misha had to say was a mystery. However, Misha was definitely going to support this new development, it would make for much better working conditions on set.

Laying his hand on Jared’s shoulder he gave it a supportive squeeze.

“I know it’s probably hard to bury the hatchet after six years, but I think it’s great. You and Jensen have a lot in common.”

“Really?” Jared asked curiously. “What?”

“You’re both from Texas,” he pointed out obviously, causing Jared to laugh and shake his head as they continued to walk back towards the gate.

“You’re great, you know that?” Jared said, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets and hunching his shoulders against the cold Canadian wind. Misha tried to ignore the butterfly effect it had on his innards.

“Obviously, I’m Misha Collins.”

As they walked Misha couldn’t help but pull out his phone and tweet.  


+  
 **@MishaCollins Found lost puppy. Taking one cute puppy named Jared back home.**  
+

  
The situation was tense. Misha had been nice enough to walk Sam back to where the driver (Clint? Cliff?) was supposed to be picking them up. Sam had even managed to sneak a peek at the tweet Misha had sent out before they had caught up with Dean. He was becoming addicted to Misha’s tweets, he could feel it.

Dean had not been happy about Misha joining them while they waited for the car to pull up.

Sam was trying not to be awkward, standing with his brother and alternate-reality boyfriend. It didn’t help that Dean was more than happy to ignore the angel-look-a-like. Misha was blissfully preoccupied by his phone, ignoring them, and Sam was left standing awkwardly between them. He couldn’t say anything to Dean about going home or the trying the spell Balthazar had used without Misha learning he wasn’t Jared. And Sam couldn’t think of anything to say to Misha without Dean finding out that Sam’s alter-ego was a gay actor banging another gay actor who happened to look like his angel friend.

Awkward silence was the only option.

A black van with a burly man driving pulled up, the passenger side window rolling down as it crawled to a stop in front of the three men. “Jared, Jensen, you ready to go?”

“What about Misha?” Sam asked, blurting it out before he could stop himself. Dean, who was half in the van, leaned back and looked at Sam as if he were insane. Maybe he was, but what sort of boyfriend let their significant other walk home when they got a drive?

“Um, I’m good Jared,” Misha said with wide, uncertain eyes.

“Jared?” the driver asked.

“One minute guys,” Sam said apologetically, using his larger frame to block Dean and the driver’s view.

“What are you doing?” Misha asked with his easy, unsure smile. Sam was starting to feel himself like that smile a bit too much for someone trying to just act their part.

“Come with us,” Sam tried to keep his voice steady.

“You’ve never asked me to ride with you guys before,” Misha pointed out, his eyebrows raised slightly at Sam’s odd behaviour. “I just drive home by myself.”

“Well, that’s crap,” Sam huffed, hating his alter-ego a tiny bit more. “You shouldn’t put up with that.”

“You want me to ride with you and Jen?” Misha asked, still eyeing Sam as if trying to figure out if this was an elaborate joke that was being played on him or not.

Taking a deep breath, Sam gently laid a hand on Misha’s arm, bringing them a tiny bit closer. “It would really mean a lot to me if you would.”

“What about my car?” Misha asked.

“It’ll still be here tomorrow,” Sam said, adding mentally that when he and Dean finally made it back to their world that Jared would probably make him drive himself again. The dick.

“Uh, sure, just give me one second,” Misha finally said. Giving Sam another of his brilliant, crooked smiles, Misha brought a hand to quickly give Sam’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Pulling away, Sam made sure to duck his head to hide his smile as Misha quickly typed a message into his phone. Feeling that addicting buzz in his pocket as his phone received Misha’s message. As Misha smiled once more and made his way around Sam and into the car, sitting awkwardly in the middle, pressed up against a very disgruntled Dean.

Making sure neither Dean or Misha could see him, Sam quickly checked Jared’s phone.  


+  
 **@MishaCollins Leaving set in style with J2. Boys night anyone?**  
 **+**  


  
Misha Collins could not believe he was squished into the backseat between Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. There was only one possible way this was going to end – someone was going to be murdered. Jensen in particular was glowering out his window with a hardness that Misha did not often associate with the actor. The J’s were not the nicest people to hang out with, they were dicks, but Jensen was acting very ... Dean-like. Misha didn’t really focus too much on it though.

He had other problems, mainly Jared’s hand that was resting a top his thigh. At first Misha had written it off by how squished they were together. That was all it was. Jared was massive and the backseat was fairly small, his hand was there because it had no other choice. Then Jared had gone and gently squeezed just above his knee and knocked his shoulder, all while giving him a soft smile, and Misha was starting to think maybe Jared was actually possessed.

“So, where to?” Cliff asked, his eyes catching Misha’s in the rear-view mirror. At his questioning look, Misha could do little more than shrug uncertainly at the driver who had always been nice to Misha. Misha also happened to know that the man was one of his Mishamigos, which automatically made him cool.

“Um, Jensen’s,” Jared said quickly, shooting small glances between Misha and Jensen that Misha could not understand. Jared was being very hard to read lately. How had Misha not noticed how complex the man was?

“And where’s this guy being dropped?” Jensen hissed at his co-worker. Misha didn’t mind though, and if the relaxing of Cliff’s shoulders was any indication, he too was relieved to see the two actors behave as they normally did.

“He’s coming with us,” Jared answered in a patient tone.

While this unexpected, Misha couldn’t find it in him to argue. After all, if these two were going to be together, there would need to be a mediator in order to make sure neither one ended up murdering the other. Plus, Misha was not one to miss out on an adventure. This was even crazier than the time he had dressed up in a fluorescent pink Speedo and ran through a hotel lobby and kissed the janitor because of a dare made after many shots of tequila.

“If that’s cool with you, I mean?” Jared asked, getting all flustered and cute.

“Yeah, no, I would love to see Jensen’s place,” Misha replied, reassuring Jared. He needed to be careful; this new Jared was way too attractive for his own good. If Misha didn’t know better, he would think that the man was trying to hit on him. The only thing that kept Misha from thinking that was the fact that after two years, almost three, of acting alongside him, he knew Jared was a hundred percent straight, and married. Whatever was going on right now was not flirting. Exactly what it was Misha did not know, but he intended to find out.

“Great,” Jared said softly, smiling softly at Misha, not his normal, big, flashy, all-teeth smile – but a more subdued and private one. Misha felt unreasonably pleased about this.

“Great,” Jensen growled, giving Jared a questioning look as if saying “What the hell”. Misha supposed that Jensen was also a bit put off by how nice Jared was being.

Cliff didn’t say anything, just drove over the bridge into the heart of Vancouver.

Misha pretended not to hear Jensen mutter, “Canada, not even in the U.S. anymore.”

Instead he took out his phone and sent a tweet to his followers. If Jared and Jensen were flipping out, taking some weird ass narcotic of some sort and murdered Misha – he figured his Mishamigos deserved to know what was happening to him.  


+  
 **@MishaCollins On our way to Jensen’s – if I don’t make it out alive, I leave my monkey hat to whoever finds my corpse.**  
+

  
Sam was itching to check his phone, but had to wait until they were finally at Dean’s ... mansion? It was huge! The Misha tweet currently forgotten, Sam and Dean stood beside each other gaping up at the huge house in front of them. Holy crap. These actor people must be loaded.

“Um, guys? Maybe we should go in?” Misha asked, looking at Dean curiously. Dean jumped; startled out of his amazement at what he got to pretend was his. “Do you always like to stare at your house like that before going into it? I personally like to spin around five times and do a tap dance before going into mine.”

Sam tried to hide his snicker as his brother glared at the other man, before stomping away to his house, not even bothering to answer him. Placing a hand on Misha’s back, Sam couldn’t help but feel a bit smug at the shiver he felt run down his back. This easy touching was more addicting then Sam had ever thought it could be – he was forced to remind himself that this was just another lie. He was not Jared Padalecki and he was not Misha Collins boyfriend, he was just playing the part.

Sam had barely entered the house, when Dean grabbed his arm and started to drag him away.

“Just give us a second,” Dean said, motioning Misha towards the living room that was situated beside the foyer. Neither Misha nor Sam had a chance to say anything, as Dean successfully manoeuvred and manhandled Sam into the ... kitchen.  It was the nicest kitchen Sam had ever been in – full of shiny new appliances and a big huge island in the middle.

“What the hell?” Dean asked, flapping his arm toward the doorway, obviously referencing their added guest. “I mean: what the hell?”

“Look, I had to,” Sam said softly, not wanting their guest to overhear them.

“Really? Because it kind of looked like you went out of your way?” Dean whispered hoarsely, the whisper he used when he really wanted to be yelling, but couldn’t: like when Sam wasn’t breaking into a house fast enough, or forgot the silver bullet on a hunt. “Why are you even talking to the Castiel look-a-like?”

“His name is Misha,” Sam reminded his brotherly patiently. “And ...”

“And?”

“Don’t laugh,” Sam said sternly, trying to gather his courage.

“About?”

“Misha is ... it seems that ... Jared is dating Misha,” Sam gushed out.

“Whose dating what?” Dean asked, getting lost in the jumbled mess of words that had been rushed out of Sam’s mouth in less than a millisecond.

“Jared,” Sam pointed at himself, “is dating Misha,” Sam gestured in the general direction Misha would be in.

There was a moment of stunned silence as Dean just stared at him and then ... laughter. Sam tried to frown at him, but he couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Dean doubled over holding his stomach in any way that wasn’t pain induced. Snickering, Sam leaned against the counter, waiting for Dean to get a hold of himself.

“So you’re gay,” Dean finally said.

“Apparently.”

“I always said you were a bit girly,” Dean teased.

“Hey, I can still kick your ass,” Sam reminded him.

“Yeah right,” Dean scoffed, before grimacing. “But doesn’t it bother you ...”

“What? That he’s a dude?”

“No, that he ... you know ... looks like Castiel,” Dean said. “I mean, I can’t even look at him without expecting him to be smiting and stuff, you know?”

“Um, not really,” Sam replied softly, thinking hard about it. “I mean, once you start talking to him ... he really isn’t like Castiel at all.”  
“Whatever, this still doesn’t help with the fact that we need to find a way to locate all the crap we need for that spell. I mean, how are we supposed to do that and babysit your lover boy at the same time?”

“Okay, first, he is not my lover boy. And I dunno, I’ll ... distract him.”

“Yeah I bet you will,” Dean smirked.

“You start looking up the how we can find the bones of a saint and whatever else Balthazar used,” Sam huffed, trying to ignore his brother. He had known since the very beginning that Dean would never let him live this down. Unsurprisingly, he was once again proven right.

“Why do I need to do all the research?” Dean demanded.

“Unless you would like to pretend to be Misha Collins’ boyfriend,” Sam said, purposely using the tone which always drove Dean crazy.

“No,” Dean flinched. “You go be gay with fake-Cas and I’ll work out how to get our asses home.”

“Have fun,” Sam quipped before ducking out of the kitchen back towards the living room. He paused just before entering as his phone vibrated. Sure enough Misha had sent another tweet.  


+  
 **@MishaCollins Apparently all friendship needs is a blow to the head. Who knew?**  
+

  
Misha was trying not to be impressed, but damn Jensen had a nice home. Misha’s home was a room in a hotel downtown since he was only in some episodes and his coverage only lasted a day or two. Jensen’s house was big and his obsession with gadgetry toys was very obvious. Big screen TV, nice stereo system, comfy couch ... Misha just needed some beer and pizza and this would be heaven.

Seeing Jared enter Misha reluctantly put his phone away and smiled up at him. During the car ride over Misha figured that Jared probably wanted some back-up to make things less awkward now that he and Jensen were starting to patch things over – it was the only explanation.

Jared joined him on the couch, picked up the remote. “Mind if I turn on the game?”

“Sounds good,” Misha said, shrugging easily as he sprawled over his half of the couch. The only sport game they could find was a hockey game, being played by two teams Misha did not know. About twenty minutes later, Misha was amazed at how comfortable he felt. His feet were tucked up and pressed against Jared’s leg as both of them watched the game.

“Where’s Jensen?” Misha asked, glancing around the room as a beer commercial started up.

“What?” Jared asked, blinking away from the television.

“Where’s Jensen?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jared said, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Maybe I should go find him,” Misha suggested, moving to get up. Suddenly Jared’s large hands were wrapped around his wrist, stopping him from leaving. “Jared?”

“Don’t worry about Jensen,” Jared laughed, “he’s fine.”

“Well, I’ll just check,” Misha said, but still Jared didn’t let go of him. There was a moment of hesitation and then the next thing Misha knew, Jared had pulled on his arm to that his other hand could cup the back of Misha’s neck and bring their lips crashing together.  
It was a bad idea. Obviously, Jared was having some sort of break down and was not in his right frame of mind. Misha was going to end this kiss, find Jensen, make sure Jared got home and pray that a night’s sleep was all the actor needed to be back to his normal self. Even if Misha personally like this other self much better.

His body once again seemed to abandon Misha’s otherwise superb rationality, because his hand was tangled in Jared’s long locks and his chapped lips were opening a bit more to deepen the kiss. A strong hand, Jared’s hand, was on his waist now. Misha barely noticed that hand guiding him to straddle Jared’s lap, too preoccupied with the foreign tongue which now ghosted over his lips and penetrated with an overwhelming sense of intimacy.

Misha could feel himself get hard, his body flushed as it pressed closer to Jared’s. This was going too far, but Misha couldn’t help himself. It was too good when Jared pressed him closer. It was too good when he trailed kisses along his jaw line. It was just too good and too tempting.

Instead of pulling away and saying no, he was pushing himself closer. His hands were rubbing up against his chest and smiling in victory as they found the shirt clad nipples that made Jared gasp into his mouth. His legs opened wider, trying to find that delicious friction that he craved. It was stupid and it was reckless and Misha was positive that Jared was on some sort of mental breakdown, but he couldn’t stop.

Jared’s big hands finally snaked around to the front of his jeans, rubbing over the hard bulge found there, and Misha knew it had to stop. Leaning back, Misha brushed those large hands away. How had he never appreciated those hands before? Misha deserved a damn medal for doing this and saying no to those fucking hands.

“What about Gen?” Misha asked, trying to catch his breath.

“Jen?” The fact that Jared looked so confused was not a good sign.

“Gen.”

“But ... we never talk.” Jared said slowly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What?” Misha asked. He had thought, until today, that Jared and Genevieve were perfectly happy. With their weird little charities and little nicknames for each other, there had never been any indication of some problem in their marriage. Until, well, Jared had started to hit and then make out with Misha.

“You ... you said we never talk.”

“What are ...” Misha broke off, highly confused. When did he ever say that Jared and Gen didn’t talk? Moving completely off Jared’s lap, Misha sat on the coffee table in front of him. Misha tried to clarify, “I’m talking about Gen, you know, the person you are married to?”

“Jen and I are married?”

“Yes. Jared, what’s happening to you? First you hit on me, then you forget about Gen – I mean I know my body is irresistible – but what is it? Some whacked out amnesia? Drugs?” Misha asked.

“What, no!” Jared exclaimed.

“No offense, but you’re normally a jerk.” Misha pointed out.

“So, I’m not acting like enough of a jerk for you?” Jared huffed.

“No. I prefer ... I like you like you are right now. I just want to make sure this version of you stays.” He admitted softly, his hand hesitating to reach out and comfort Jared before Misha decided against it, dropping them to his side. “What’s going on Jared? Is this just ... some joke?”

“What? No,” Jared said so earnestly that Misha felt inclined to believe him.

“I think I should go.” Finally standing up, Misha went to leave, but was once again stopped when Jared also stood up and blocked his path.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t ... If I had known ...”

“We’ll just forget about it,” Misha lied, edging past Jared trying to reach the exit.

“I promise this wasn’t a joke.”

“I believe you.” Misha promised, looking at Jared as he stood giving him such an earnest, puppy-dog expression and he couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. “Jared, you’ve had this role for way too long.”

“What do you mean?” Jared asked.

“If I didn’t know better I would think you were Sam Winchester,” Misha said. “Listen, I’m going to call a cab and go back to the hotel. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Right,” Jared said, looking slightly non-pulsed at Misha.

“Tell Jensen I say bye,” Misha said in farewell. With those parting words, he managed to slip out of the house and pull out his phone. Before calling the taxi company, he just needed to get one thing off his chest.  


+  
 **@MishaCollins My goodness knows no bounds – deserve a medal after tonight. Night Mishamigos.**  
+

  


Sam put Jared's phone away and flung himself backwards onto the couch. He was completely mortified.

How had he mixed up the signs so badly? He had honestly believed that he and Misha were dating, but apparently he was married to Jensen – who played his brother – even though they must have the unhealthiest marriage ever since they don’t talk. He had made his alter-ego cheat on his brother’s alter-ego with an angel’s alter-ego. Just thinking about the kiss had Jared feeling uncomfortably turned on. In less than ten minutes he had gone from a lapful of Misha Collins with what looked to be a very enjoyable evening to being alone and extremely Misha-less.

“Gay lover boy gone?” Dean stood at the doorway, the laptop held in front of him and a smirk on his face. “You didn’t scare him off did you?”

“Um, we aren’t ...weren’t ...” Sam gave up trying to explain. “What did you find?”

“Well at first I thought that I would need to go on a little road trip to Mexico, but,” Dean pulled out a credit card and flashed a huge smile at Sam, “dude we are loaded!”

Sam couldn’t think of anything to say, so he smiled distractedly.

“Anyways, we’ll have to convince Cliff to make a stop at the airport so we can pick it up,” Dean said, swinging around so that he flopped down onto the couch. “Not much to do until then.”  


+

  
Sam tried to think of this rationally the morning after. It was better this way. If Misha was refusing to talk or even look at him then he was safer that way. He and Dean would leave and Misha would stay safely tucked away in this magic-less world. His resolve was tested when Misha sat behind him the following morning. Sam was sitting; anxious to return home – even more so now that he had made an ass of himself – and with some bone of saints on his lap.

Sam was dismayed to discover that Misha looked just as attractive as ever. He sat with his script in one hand and his cell phone ever present in his other. Without meaning to Sam’s mind wandered back to the night before, how Misha had felt straddling him, lips gracing over his. Looking away, he could not even manage a smile in the general direction of the actor. It was too fresh. The attraction immediately followed by pure embarrassment.

Sam’s dark, brooding thoughts were interrupted by Dean.

“I think we’re going to have to act,” Dean said softly, so as not to be overheard.

And the day continued to go down hill...  


+

Misha had wanted to ask what was in the box, ever curious about what the other actors were up to, but after the night before – he actually found himself avoiding Jared. It looked like the full night’s sleep was not enough to help Jared and Jensen get back to normal. They were still acting oddly and Jared kept giving him heated gazes which did nothing to help Misha’s newfound attraction to him.

He liked to think that if they had not been forced to act, maybe everything could have gone on as normal. As it was, as soon as the cameras started to role, Misha found himself with two people that were NOT Jared and Jensen. Jared and Jensen would never, ever be this bad at acting. It was as if these two people had never been on a set before. Lines were messed up, even made up, marks were missed and hands were flying all over the place. Misha watched in horror as he realized that something was seriously wrong with these two men. It was not just drug related or something; this was something major and life changing.

Trying to shake the feeling that the two people he had been dealing with were completely different people, Misha had wandered off to the seats when the director called cut and gave them five. For once in his life, he could not think of what to tweet. That J2 were insane? That the needed medical help because apparently they had forgotten any acting ability they had ever had?

Misha thought of the kiss, the passionate hands and the persistent lips, and he felt himself turn back around and head back to Bobby’s set. Whatever Jared was going through, he should be there to help him.

He was greeted by the sound of crashing as the Jared and Jensen jumped through another stunt window – without a safety mat to break their fall.  


+

  
“Are you okay?”

Sam was groaning on the ground as he felt hands grab his arms and help him up. Misha Collins, dressed as Castiel, was staring at him with such concern that Sam could only groan once more and look over at his brother.

“Damnit Sam,” Dean growled, not yet realising that Misha had joined them. “That should have worked.”

“To do what, give you a concussion?” Misha asked his gaze now downright worried. Dean straightened up and sent a Sam a slightly panicked look when he realised they were not alone.

“Nothing just ... acting ... stuff,” Dean lied, but Misha was having none of that.

“Stop it, both of you, that had nothing to do with acting. That was you two being fucking crazy for the last twenty-four hours. So we are not going anywhere until you tell me exactly what is going on with you two,” Misha told them sternly. Sam couldn’t help but think how sexy that voice was. Wonder if he would have the same deeper, hoarse, sternness in his voice withering beneath him.

“We’re ...” Sam started to say, but Dean cut him off.

“Sam!” Dean said, effectively cutting him off.

“Oh god,” Misha muttered, his face paling dramatically. “Do you guys ... do you really think that you are Sam and Dean?”

“Don’t be crazy,” Sam tried to scoff, but it was forced and awkward.

“You do,” Misha confirmed for himself, burying his head in his hands. “Listen, we’ll tell Kirpke and he’ll get you guys some help.”

“What? To hell we’re going to talk to some therapist. We are not crazy,” Dean said.

“Of course you are,” Misha muttered.

“No, really, we are Sam and Dean,” Sam said earnestly, grabbing Misha’s arms and waiting for him to finally look him in the eye. “Ask us anything, anything only Sam and Dean would know.”

“You act these parts, you would know everything, or make something up to fill in the blanks,” Misha shook his head. “Like how Castiel likes swings better then slides because he would rather be flying towards Heaven then descending into hell – I made that up, but I believe it. Because I act that part. Whatever you think you know about Sam and Dean – you are confused. I mean, what? You thought you would do some spell and jump through a window and be back in your world? Look around you, this is the world. You’re just confused. I’ll help however I can, but I’m not going to let you guys hurt yourself.”

“You said, last night, that I was different,” Sam said, pleading with him. “You know that it’s true. We are not Jared and Jensen.”

“What you’re saying is impossible,” Misha argued.

“Why don’t we move this lover’s spat somewhere a bit more private,” Dean suggested, making Sam realize how close the two of them had moved together, with Sam’s hands still gripping Misha’s arms. Some PA’s had started to stare and the director himself was eyeing them speculatively. Sam let go and stepped back.

“Right,” Sam agreed and he saw Misha nod.

The three of them went to move somewhere more private, Misha eyeing them as if expecting them to break down at any minute. Sure enough, he pulled out his phone and Sam could feel the tweet hit Jared’s phone with that satisfying buzz.  


+  
 **@MishaCollins J2 are REALLY in character today – a tiny bit scary.**  
+

  
Misha was trying to think of some way to convince the “brothers” that they needed to get some professional help. It was weird that they were having the same shared hallucination, but at the same time it was more likely than the other option – which was that there was a world out there with angels, demons and the Winchester brothers. It just didn’t seem likely. In fact it felt the opposite of likely.

They walked past the green screen impala, walked up into the sewer stage and ran into an extra. Or Misha thought they had run into an extra, but Jared and Jensen had frozen in fear. And the extra came at Dean, raising his hand. It happened so fast that Misha could barely remember more than a blur. One second the actor was raising his hand the way angels would smite in the show, then there were hands pulling him around, Jared shielding him from the extra. There was a second of silence, as everyone froze.

“Sorry dude, mojo free zone,” Jensen said ... and if Misha had not just witnessed the horrible acting of ten minutes prior, Misha would have thought he was in character. He didn’t have long to mull things over though because holy shit Jensen was punching an extra.

“Hey!” Misha yelped, already imagining the lawsuits just waiting to happen.

“No magic in the house,” Jared was saying as he stalked towards the extra. Oh no – the shared hallucination seemed to make them think this freak was an angel.

“Which makes you nothing but a dick,” Jensen was saying.

Fists started to fly so fast that Misha did the only thing he could think of. Unfortunately, his quick thinking usually ended up being a bad idea – like the stripper in Vegas. In this case, it resulted in Misha jumping into the middle of a fist fight that was being fought by two insane men and an extra. Misha expected to be hit, maybe even shoved aside, he did not expect the extra to call him Castiel and try to strangle him. Apparently hallucinations were the new craze.

Just as the fingers around his neck tightened and Misha could do little more than gasp for breath – Jared was slamming into the guy, spinning him around and pummelling his face. Gasping for air, Misha saw the stunt men come to grab Jared and pull him off the freak. The guy reached into Jared’s pocket and ran off set, clutching something tight in his throat.

“Stop him!” Misha gasped his throat rough from where the fingers had pressed tightly down. This was insane. Unfortunately by the time that the stunt guys had run after the guy that had attacked them, there was no sign of him.

“Jared, you can’t just go beating up extras,” Lou Bollo, the stunt coordinator was lecturing.

“He was protecting me,” Misha protested. “That extra, he jumped me. If Jared and Jensen hadn’t stepped in, the make-up girls would be putting in some overtime, or casting a new vessel for Castiel.”

“Is that true boys?” Lou asked, eyeing Jared and Jensen suspiciously.

“Yep,” Jensen smiled, given his best boyish charm smile.

“I’m still going to need to tell Bob and we’ll need to phone Sera,” Lou said apologetically. “We’ll be sure to tell everyone to look out for this guy. Maybe you guys should head back to your trailers. Between this and the broken window – I’m not sure we’ll be getting back to shooting anything.”

“Aw, shoot,” Jensen said, suppressing a smile. He looked positively delighted to not have to act.

Misha followed the Js back to Jensen’s trailer. He waited until the flimsy metal door was closed before he freaked out.

“What the hell was that?” he yelled.

“That was an angel from our dimension,” Jensen said smugly.

“Shut up Dean,” Jared huffed. “Misha, look, we were telling you the truth. Balthazar’s spell sent us to this world, where there is no magic and our lives are a television show. That extra was an angel called Virgil, he’s trying to steal the key that will unlock the weapons of heaven.”

“That’s impossible,” Misha denied it.

“I am Sam, that is Dean and we are real. We are not crazy.” Sam said earnestly.

“No.” Misha shook his head. “You’re Jared.”

“Would Jared do this?” Sam crashed his lips against his, pressed his body up close, until Misha was backed against the fish tank. It was hard and rough, bodies rubbing and hands moving – unsure where to go. There was tongue and Jared’s hands, Sam’s hands, cupping his ass and grinding closer. As Sam once more urged his body to rock against his, Misha could do little than arch back and gasp into Sam’s mouth.

An awkward cough brought them apart. Dean was standing in the middle of the room, blushing and looking at the big screen TV with interest.

“So, you’re Sam Winchester,” Misha finally said. As Sam’s face broke into a relieved grin, Misha felt his stomach do a little twist. “And you are Dean Winchester.”

“One and only,” Dean said cockily.

“And there is an actual Castiel,” Misha continued, ignoring Dean and looking intensely at Sam.

“Yes, there is,” Sam said softly, his relieved smile dimming slightly. “Misha, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Misha mentally winced at how not fine he sounded. “I think I might be having a mental breakdown, but, yeah – no – I’m fine. I’m good. I’m super. I’m ...”

“You’re freaking out,” Sam chuckled slightly. “Sit down.”

“Wait ... you’re Sam!” Misha said suddenly as if he was just realising that. “So, you don’t know anything about Jared.”

“From what I’ve learned, he sounds like a bit of an ass,” Sam shrugged, unconcerned by the whole situation.

“So that’s why you didn’t know you were, I mean, Jared was married,” Misha announced, happy to finally put one mystery to rest.

“What?” Dean chirped up. “You and Misha are hitched here?”

“What?!” Misha yelped.

“No!” Sam rebutted. “Apparently we’re married.”

Dean looked like he was about to throw up.

“But we don’t talk!” He argued.

“That’s what I said!” Sam agreed.

“You two aren’t married, you’re brothers!” Misha started to wonder what messed up incest triangle he had once again entangled himself in.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Dean muttered.

“No, our actor selves are married,” Sam explained.

“Where the hell did you hear that?” Misha demanded.

“You told me last night when we were about to ... you know,” Sam said, blushing.

“No, you and Gen!”

“Yeah, me and Jen,” Sam agreed, pointing to him and Dean.

“Genevieve!” Misha shouted. “Jared’s straight!”

...

“Oh,” Sam said, thinking back on the conversation. “Oh. OH! ... oops.”

“I need a drink,” Dean grumbled, slinking down to sit at the table.

“I thought we were together,” Sam admitted to Misha.

“What? Why’d you think that?” Misha asked, staring at the inter-dimensional traveller.

“Well, your tweets,” Sam mumbled lowly.

“You were reading my tweets? How?”

“Um, apparently Jared set his cell up to get notifications from your twitter account,” Sam said. “And you were talking about lunch dates and views and I just thought ... nothing. It was just stupid.”

“Well, that explains how Jared got that picture of me in drag,” Misha said slowly, thinking back to all the tweets of the past few days. “So ... you were just playing a part?”

“Yes, no, ugh, not like that,” Sam stuttered.

“So, us kissing was just playing a part?”

“No, I didn’t do that because ... I did that because I wanted to,” Sam said lowly, stepping so close that Misha could feel the heat coming off Sam’s body.

“Okay!” Dean said suddenly, Misha had completely forgotten about him. “I’m leaving before I blow my brains out. Thank you for mentally scarring me. I hate you both.”

Neither Sam nor Misha moved as Dean slammed the door of the trailer on his way out. The air was filled with tension, waiting to see which one would break first. Which one would be the first to touch, taste, take. Misha wasn’t patient enough to wait any longer. He grabbed Sam’s shoulder’s went straight to where his mouth had been just a few moments before. The kiss was surprisingly gentle despite the urgent hands which were removing the trench coat he was still wearing. As Misha helped Sam unbutton the undershirt, Sam’s mouth trailed down. Flicking his tongue against Misha’s nipples caused him to arch and his knees to buckle. They needed to get vertical before Misha made an ass of himself.

Hooking his fingers just inside Sam’s pants, he manoeuvred them to the couch. Somehow Sam also lost his shirt in the process, but Misha was too preoccupied by the hand now rubbing his erection through his pants.

“I don’t have anything,” Misha gasped. “Condoms, lube, it’s all at home, I don’t ...”

Sam’s hands trailed up his chest and his kisses trailed along his jaw line until he finally got to his ear. “I can think of a few other things we could do.”

Misha was not one to complain. He let Sam take charge, let him slowly unzip his pants and leave Misha naked and aroused on the couch as he took off the rest of his clothes. Oh how the Mishamigos would love a picture of that. Sam Winchester, fully naked, and it was a delicious sight and Misha felt a greediness he had never anticipated before. For once he did not want to share with twitter because this was his and his alone.

Finally Sam was back where he belonged, between Misha’s thighs, kissing a trail down his chest and abdomen, to his hip and his inner thigh. Misha let his head fall back crying out for Sam to do _more_ and _now_ and how he _needed it_. Finally Misha could feel his cock enveloped in a wet heat which made him cry out. It was perfect and great and he needed more. Sam however, was pure evil and after only a few pumps, he started to kiss a trail back up Misha’s chest. Misha’s curses were muffled by a hard and rough kiss, as Sam forced Misha down onto the couch. As their erections rubbed, Sam took one of those wonderful hands and fisted them together.

It didn’t take too long, before Misha was lying sated and Sam a heavy weight on top of him. Pushing him so that Sam was not quite suffocating him, Misha reached for the trench coat which was just barely within reach. Grabbing his phone, he couldn’t help but smile when he heard the telltale vibration of Jared’s phone vibrating.  


+  
 **@MishaCollins Best sex you will ever have is with fictional characters. Trust me.**  
+

  
“We’ve got a problem!” Dean burst through the doors, only to be met with two very naked asses. Turning away and shielding his eyes, he yelled out. “Oh god! Cover up!”

“Sorry,” Sam apologized, awkwardly finding his pants and Misha’s in the pile of strewn clothing. “We’re decent.”

“What are you trying to do? Give me nightmares?” Dean growled, still not having turned around.

“Actually we were trying to have ...” Misha started to say but Sam intercepted him.

“What’s the problem?”

Finally turning around, Dean still didn’t look too happy about their half-naked attire. “Some PA was killed in some alley not far from here, from what I can gather since you two were too busy humping your brains out, it looks like Virgil. Apparently he had some sort of cup and used the blood to talk to someone called, get this, Raphael. He’s leaving. Soon. And for the love of – would it kill you two to put on shirts?”

“Are you intimidated by my sexiness?” Misha asked seriously.

“Here,” Sam said, before Dean could answer, handing Misha a shirt. “Misha, you just stay here, okay? Dean and I will go check this out.”

“Sure,” Misha said, being sure to show no signs other then obedience. “You guys know what you’re doing. I’ll stay here.”

“Okay,” Sam hesitated, and then leaned forward to gently kiss Misha’s lips. It was a goodbye kiss. Sam thought they would never see each other again. Smiling bitter sweetly, the Winchester brothers left Misha in Jensen’s trailer. Misha waited for twenty seconds, before putting on his shirt and sneaking out after them. He would be damned if he let Sam Winchester go before he had even had a chance to have full-out sex with him.

That’s when the first gunshot blasted through the air.  


+

  
Sam came charging out from behind the set and threw his arms wide. “Hey!” he yelled, before flinging himself to the side, narrowly missing the gunshot fired his way. It was close, but it was just enough to distract Virgil and let Dean get the jump on him. As they flew backwards into the motel set, Sam ran forward, bursting through the fake-door and helping tackle the angel to the ground.  
As Dean kept punching the angel in the face, Sam was getting more and more frantic. The pockets were empty. How could the pockets be empty?

“Hey!” Sam looked up and felt his heart drop, Misha Collins was running towards them, thankfully not in Cas’s trench coat, but in the white button up and trousers. “Don’t worry he dropped this when Dean knocked him flying.”

Sure enough, there in his hands was the stupid, plastic key that Balthazar had unfairly thrust onto their protection. As Misha finally caught up, Sam couldn’t help but give him one quick kiss, never mind that his brother was still right there.

“Damnit, Sam! Raphael!” Dean yelled out a warning. A glance behind him showed the appearance of a sigil on the window.

“Run,” Sam shouted, but it was too late. An invisible hook was yanking all three of them backwards.  


+

  
“Give me the key,” the female Raphael demanded, and Misha couldn’t help it. When he was stressed or scared he laughed and in this case he was all the above.

“Mish, unless you want to die a painful death, shut up,” Sam muttered, under his breath.

“Hmm, I see, so you have the key,” Raphael turned those sharp eyes onto Misha and he felt a sort of giddiness. This was ridiculous. He was in another dimension and an archangel was asked for a key to a stupid locker!

“Sure,” Misha shrugged, ignoring Sam and Dean’s cry of dismay as he tossed the key to Raphael. “Calm down guys the key doesn’t do anything.”

“What do you mean?” Raphael demanded.

“More pressingly, how did you know?” a new voice harked up. There stood Balthazar.

Looking back at Sam and Dean’s blank and confused faces, Misha sighed. “You two never bothered to read the script did you?”

“What?” Sam asked.

“It was all there. The key was really a distraction set up by Balthazar so he could find all of the weapons he hid and give them to Cas and Cas is about to show up any minute and show his wings, have a bamf moment as the fans would say. Raphael will then flee for his ... her ... his ... its life and Castiel will zap you back to Bobby’s. Only this time, it’s with me, and I plan to find lube and condoms and have sex with Sam,” Misha explained patiently.

“I do like your priorities,” Balthazar said, appraising the newest addition.

“This is foolish,” Raphael stormed. “It’s impossible.”

“No,” Castiel said, as he showed up right behind Raphael. “This man is correct. I have the weapons of Heaven. I would suggest you leave now if you wish to leave.”

There was a slight pause before, with the sound of fluttering wings, Raphael disappeared.

“Oh,” Misha groaned, realizing something.

“What?” Sam asked. “Are you okay?”

“Fine, I just realized, since this is another dimension and everything. I’m going to have to make a new twitter account, won’t I?”

 **Epilogue**

 **@mishacollins Just arrived in your dimension – liking it so far. Lots of hot men.  
**  
 **@mishacollins Loving my new home. She’s sleek, black and likes to move around a lot.**

 **@mishacollins just got the ‘hurt my baby bro and I’ll kill you’ speech. Scared for my life now.**

 **@mishacollins successfully completed my first hunt. I ain’t afraid of no ghost.**

 **@mishacollins @lilfantasy Yes that meant I hunt ghosts. Doesn’t everyone?**

 **@mishacollins I am piling up on my salt supply, I suggest not stopping at McDonald’s in Prospect, NY.**

 **@mishacollins Once again met an angel. It’s like looking into a mirror.**

 **@mishacollins @jamieb hottest man ever? Only one choice  
**

 **@mishacollins @jamieb sorry, he’s taken.**

 **@mishacollins Demons are freaking crazy. Getting my first tat tomorrow. Is it lame I am going to match my bfs?**

 **@mishacollins Dean thinks my twitter gives away too much info and I should stop. So I am posting a pic of him shirtless.  
**

 **@mishacollins sorry for the break – Dean broke my phone and I finally bought a new one.**

 **@mishacollins How do you stop someone from sucking up purgatory souls? Any suggestions???**

 **@mishacollins @lilfantasy Hmmm ... intervention HIMYM style sounds promising.**

 **@mishacollins @homie4life Why do pple think this is a joke? I’m serious. He’s going to explode!**

 **@mishacollins @lilfantasy He threatened to kill me, so the intervention didn’t really work.**

 **@mishacollins @lilfantasy not in so many words, but the intent was very clear. I used to act as his character so I know.**

 **@mishacollins Great news! The sexy Sammy is finally on twitter. Follow him @samw**

 **@mishacollins @samw btw, I like your dick.**

 **@samw @mishacollins First, how did u get so many followers? 2 nd, I thought you LOVED my dick?**

 **@mishacollins @samw I’ll prove my love to it tonight. And pple follow bc I am awesome!**

 **@samw @mishacollins you’re crazy.**

 **@mishacollins @samw and you love it.**


End file.
